After getting turned onto Street Noise Books by QUEER AS ALL GET OUT, the publisher was nice enough to let me check out one of their other projects, Ace of Hearts: Lessons in Love from an Asexual Girl by Cooklin.
Ace of Hearts is the story of Cooklin growing up and her journey of self-identification as asexual. I have read a couple of books where the main character has already figured out who they are, but this was the first one that let me go on the ride with her and experience all the trials, trauma, and eventual self-actualization.
Cooklin grew up learning from the media everything she needed, including friends, enemies, and a boyfriend. So she set out to get all those things, but the boyfriend one seemed more complicated as she struggled to feel the same things that those around her did. She felt no desire for sex, even with people with whom she felt an intimate connection. This was not helped by the fact that the first person she dated was abusive. Following their breakup, she made a variety of attempts to fix what she thought was a lacking in her personality, including promiscuity, therapy, medical treatments, and religion. It’s not until years later that she figures out that most of her life she has been pretending to have an interest that just isn’t there, and starts to accept that this is who she is, and that there are others who can understand and accept her.
This book, while filled with a lot of pain, is also filled with hope. The road is long and hard, but Cooklin comes out the other side, able to accept herself and in a relationship with someone who appreciates her. The art is quirky, and her storytelling style lets the reader really connect with the main character. I think no matter what corner of the LGBTQ+ community you reside in, this is a must-read. I can’t wait to see what comes next from Cooklin.