We’re okay with you not getting it right all the time, as long as it feels like you’re making an effort. I have basically three kinds of people in my life since I have come out. Those who accept and celebrate my identity can finally be. These include some people who still screw up my name or pronouns, but try to be an ally. Those who give lip service but have no interest in understanding, and wish I would just shut up about it. These are the people who use the correct name mostly, but only when you are around, and hope they do not have to constantly think about what they do or say, because that person is going to get mad about it. Then there is the third who make it a point to never say your name or to include you whenever they are talking about groups of your gender assigned at birth, and always make it a point to stare daggers at you if you appear to be dressing too feminine. I guess I should just be happy that most of the people who are outright abusive and bigoted are online.
Also, I do not exist just to annoy you; in fact, a lot of times I am toning things down around people. My look at the moment is androgenous at best due to a combination of not wanting to irk and freak out my family with a big helping of hey, if you get clocked (recognized as trans) in public, there is a good chance people are going to come after you. But watch out, painted nails, make up and dyed hair might be on the horizon because … well, because.
Also, we don’t care about your politics as much as you think we do, but we sure as hell notice when you support people who want to destroy us. You want to believe in trickle-down economics, okay, I think it’s bullshit, but you do you? But can I ask that you don’t loudly and vocally support in front of me an administration that has taken away the rights of my community, made it harder for me to operate in society, and spent 217 million dollars in the last election, saying I was the worst thing to ever happen to America. It makes it really hard to accept anything positive you try to say in support of me.
If I could have one wish, it would be for people in my life to take just a little time to look into things. You know, Google something, find out what being an Ally means, and check out some sort of media with LGBTQ+ characters in it. (Really, for the love of the spaghetti monster, would you at least watch Wil and Harper on Netflix? It’s only an hour and a half, and it has Will Ferrell in it.) You don’t have to go to Pride with me, but maybe not get a look of oh hell no when I mention it.
Sorry for the tirade, it might just be echoes of things I have posted in the past, but life sucks for queer people in America right now, and it’s not going to get better anytime soon.